That hymen explanation makes SO MUCH SENSE. And in all fairness, I really didn’t have any idea what I was doing, but my husband did!

My husband still seems surprised when it’s already time to feed the baby. Uh, yeah, dum dum, that’s all I do anymore!

Agreed! As a parent, pooping by yourself is a rare luxury.

HA!

Blurgh! It is such a relief, though, when it gets better. You stop wondering if you’re just terrible and doing things wrong.

Because people have to have opinions on everything!

“Happy sixteenth birthday! Here’s your first vibrator!”

- snort Pixie Sticks

I feel really wrong, but I just picture the scene from Ace Ventura where he is trying to escape from the rhino...

I have totally pumped and fed while pooping. Is it preferable? Nope! But when you spend eleven tenths of your life breastfeeding and pumping, schedules are bound to cross.

It’s like your hymen is just waiting in secret...like it’s playing the long con and one day is just going to pop out and say, “I’m still here, bitch!"

That’s awful! Can they numb you up or something?

NOOOOOOOOO. I’m so sorry, my vagina hurts just thinking about it.

Nor do I! They are uncomfortable, and I haven’t worn them in years.

That is...terrifying.

Please pass on my congratulations to your cervix!

We start a club! A really sad club...

Me too ;) It is now a distant, somewhat amusing memory!

Yeah, vag depth and width is all built-in, man!

Unless I get doxxed, I have no problem answering questions ;)