Nick Saban has responded by spending 20 minutes silently assembling a rifle in front of his players while wearing a T-Shirt that reads “FUCKING TRY IT.”

Why would Rocket feel the need to give Samer instructions on heating up the jelly donut before he fucks it if he’s assuming Samer already has experience doing so? 

Shit, I just hope Jeff Smith never cracks the combination to Samer’s safe bubble.

Rocket McFadden is totally voting Hillary.

And we have reached the climax of a year long foreplay session. Thank you

Word counts in this article:

Homo: 5
Jizz: 2
Fuck: 18
Shit: 10
‘Right Way’ or ’Best Fans’: 0

Thank you for participating.

I will miss seeing these.

It is? I’ve never thought huckster had any racial connotations. Hmm. 

Now that we’re here I don’t know what to look forward to anymore. All I know is that this is the Best Blog in Baseball.

Here is a thing to know:

I’m crying on the toilet, and I didn’t even have Chipotle yesterday.

I don’t think this necessarily offers hope for humanity, but I wouldn’t say it’s just basic decency for a guy who went to the school expecting to be fawned over by excited kids to instead sit down with a lonely, awkward boy who probably didn’t even know who he was.

Damn it. At least, you’re at McDonalds probably biting on a Sausage Mcgriddle. I’m at Barnes & Noble having to pay for the magazine that I'm reading soaked up with my tears.

Great. Now I’m crying in a McDonald’s. And it's not for any of the usual reasons.

Wow, what impresses me here is the timestamp. You came up with that immediately.

Legendary Kinja here folks

Can’t