No? I will. He won his batting title because he bunted for a hit, then came out of the game like a bitch for fear of making outs, followed by bolting to Miami for the money.

Maybe I’m wrong, but weren’t the Blue Jays a game under .500 when they traded Reyes?

I think I’ll remember Jose Reyes in Jays uniform more for this

“That’s not the kind of player I feel like I am.”

No, I mean the polo shirt he wore on Chopped.

“As I watched everyone file out, I thought of a moment during Tana Goertz’s opening-act speech earlier in the day, when she pleaded with everyone to eat more of the food outside. “Mr. Trump can’t take all this food home on the plane,” she told us. “There’s not enough room.” And so as all of Trump’s energized…

Well done Drew. Sad, but well written.

Drew Magary hangs out with Donald Trump supporters at a Trump rally in Iowa. [GQ]

More importantly, we now know that furious masturbating can cause your face to begin resembling your penis.