I like to take the dog out to shit in my man clogs.

Autumnal Crisp Law: Anybody who writes about their enthusiasm for the fall will eventually use the word “crisp.” Sixteen sentences, and you know what, that’s actually pretty respectable of Drew. It’s usually way earlier. This was practically tantric levels of restraint.

Philadelphia teams are known for low ceilings.

It’s been taken care of:

Joe Westworld

If his grouping is like his strike zone, we have nothing to worry about. Dude’s a storm trooper.

Instead of a drug dealer breaking my kneecaps, now my own wife was gonna do it. I was crestfallen.

God, I don’t even have one dick growing out of my forehead.

I mean, there’s so much unchecked rage in that tweet that I can’t even parse what, exactly, the author is upset about. Black people?

The media may not be to blame for that, but they are responsible for the fucked up game of Where’s Waldo I have to play to find the fucking autoplay video blocking the sound from a video I, ya know, actually want to hear.

This is Art telling you all that this is art.

You forgot all the ones with inherited wealth.

He called Wayne Gretzky TROTSKY! I fucking love him!

My wife and I have been looking for a spark in the bedroom, and surprisingly it was also Ryan Fitzpatrick. 

Says the guy with “Deez Nuts” in his name.

I don’t feel so well, Mr. Gibbs

You mean because all the Skins players move as though one of their legs is caught in a bear trap?

That is a very, very valid point.

Fans might take the game more seriously if it weren’t being called Snyder-Man: Homecoming