Fifth, did you know that future Veronica Mars star Jason Dohring plays Eddie in human form before he gets turned into a dog?

If you’re going to smash your dick to Pulp, I suggest using “Disco 2000” or “Do You Remember the First Time?” over the more popular “Common People.”

Hey. I resemble that comment. 

And when he went to practice the next day, a small sign hung in the practice facility that read simply: Zach Brown Banned.

Glasnow picked the worst possible time to adopt glasnost.

and yet here you are in the dirt with the rest of us, you slug

With Wednesday’s victory, the Cardinals’ strange and brief tenure as the lesser of two evils in a series has thankfully come to a close

Splinter should have stuck to sports.

He has children, Lauren

Wow I can’t believe the Dodgers burned another 200 million dollars just to prove you still can’t buy a world series.

Oh god I needed this today

I think we’re underestimating the real heroes for Washington in this situation - Dan Snyder and Bruce Allen. By concentrating the suckiness of DC sports into a fiery black hole, they make it possible for other area teams like the Caps, Nats, and Mystics to have a window where success, while not assured, is possible.

“I am the wokest one there is! GIMME MY FUCKING PRIZE! MASH THAT FUCKING LIKE BUTTON OR THE BAD GUYS WIN!”

So now we’re shitting on people for reaching the right conclusion but not being super aware of world events in their 20's. Just wanna be clear on this. That’s our new bar. You suck if you didn’t know about stuff in your 20's that you should have. 

I had a girlfriend

Tweeting means he’s still alive. Fuck. Maybe the stroke will hit tomorrow.

THE WHITE HOUSE

Jim Tomsula just outted his Kinja name here folks.

$10 for a jar of marinara? Must be nice being part of the 1%

I actually believe Trump when he says he’s never had a drink or taken drugs. His brother died from alcoholism, after all.

Honestly, it’s not fair criticism and it’s beyond cringe-worthy.