Tesseract confirmed.

Oh dear, I have some bad news for you

Can we root for them to be so bad that the 1972 Dolphins retroactively have their perfect season stripped so we never have to hear about it again?

It’s hard to think of an American institution better designed than sports to shunt a woman to the side in her own story.

If Ben wants to fuck off to Cambodia forever, that would be Phnompenhal.

I haven’t been this distraught since Pol Pot died.

The October 28th game will determine next year’s draft.

Were NBC executives also concerned that Ross, despite being the largest Friend, did not eat the other Friends?

Deadspin: Let’s Remember Some Guys

And now Dallas knows Washington’s game plan to run 55 times from the I-formation.

Maybe if you didn’t wear 4-6 shirts to bed you would not sweat so much at night.

Y'know, I thought I had mono once for an entire year. Turns out I was just really bored.

And he doesn’t answer questions?

He meant “aides.” A cure for aides like John Bolton.

I recently watched a dog deliver a litter of ten puppies, and she was less of a whiny bitch.

Hey, folks, we found Jim Spanfeller’s burner account

Why is the president talking about AIDS? STICK TO SPORTS!

Fan: Hey Trump great speech, really coherent!

...amphetamized Wet Trump mode...