Yes! I would add also—tell other people. I get asked if it’s okay to tell so-and-so that my husband just died, and I say tell EVERYONE. The fewer people I have to tell, the better. And the more people understand that I’m in a very strange, sad place without me having to explain why, the better.

thank you for this. i have been grieving the loss of my husband, who died this september at the age of 36. it is the most bizarre double-life a mourner leads.