The first time I remember this move was the John Demjanjuk case throughout the 80s and into the early 2000s. He was a retiree from Cleveland who was accused of being Ivan the Terrible. He wasn’t convicted of that, but there is pretty solid evidence that he was a Nazi guard at a couple of concentration camps.* As his…

We once had a bachelor party for Baby Yoda. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.

I feel like venture capitalists would consider theft a sport, right?

I was thinking this the whole time he was talking. Take a couple quick shots, maybe sideline routes? You’re not going for the TD, you’re going for a few positive yards to set up the chip shot. It is true that Trubisky sucks, but an incomplete doesn’t get you into clock trouble.

No football team has ever gained yardage on a running play when the other team knew they were running. Nagy was billed as some sort of fucking offensive genius and he can’t call a play in that situation to get them a few more yards?

Have you met the quarterback?

Damn. Where’s Reggie Jackson when you need him 

Adam Gase’s beard is the male coach’s equivalent of the Elizabeth Holmes voice, right? 

“It takes you back to being a kid: You’re out there, you’re sloshing around and your shoes are full of water and mud,” Richard Sherman said. “It’s still a kid’s game at the end of the day.”

It looked like some kind of, I don’t know, fire drill perhaps?

Your 2nd quotation mark belongs outside of the question mark.

I am the son of an avid reader and English teacher who corrected my grammar my whole life. “Swang” made me glitch up, but I don’t care any more, now that I'm a grown orphan. We know what you mean. Godspeed! 

Yeah, the accent mark is pretty critical in that particular instance!

This was worse than the last two World Series exits. At least they ripped our hearts out fast in the deciding game. The hope spot for seven innings was absolutely excruciating when they finally gagged it up. Not even the Giant bro at the bar screaming "Bryan Stow" and "fucking retard" in my face after the grand slam…

For the sake of his sister’s health, let’s hope the Jets don’t tie on Sunday.

Ain’t no Cousins apologizing for butt stuff down here.

Kirk Cousins
...
Being So Butt.
...
That’s So Raven.
...
Raven Butt.
...
Trent Dilfer.

Saur subject, clearly.

I star this and then unstar this so that I may star this again.

Ha, yeah, the one thing that rainbow-cake comment section lacks is that one guy who feels the need to let everybody know that he couldn't be bothered to read the whole article.