As a recently minted 50-year-old, let me address my fellow middle-agers.* Nowhere in this world is there a 17-year-old girl waiting for her 18th birthday so she can take a shot at your sagging scrotum.

I have a daughter, I understand what it means to respect women.

*APPLAUSE*

what do you expect from a guy who married his own daughter

And here I am just thinking it’s adorable she was tweeting about ice cream and breakfast during the biggest moment of her life.

They 100% should be. Tools shouldn’t even be on the air.