The thing is, in the abstract I'm grossed out by body parts—feet (sweaty, smelly), greasy hair, for instance. But none of that applies to my partner because he's so familiar and I love all aspects of him. His feet aren't the gross feet of strangers. His body isn't gross, but the idea of a stranger's bodily functions…

FOR FUCK'S SAKE LINDY!! WHY DO YOU HATE MEN?!?!?!

Yes, everyone. Yes. If your girlfriend repeatedly tells you that your penis is repulsive in a way that causes you emotional harm, you should break up with her too. This applies in all directions.

seriously wet flower right there.

I know lots of dudes who are grossed out by vaginas. But none of them are married to women.

Why the hell would a guy joke about that stuff? Do guys enjoy when we joke about their sexual insecurities?...

I have been causally dating a dude that worships my vajay. I mean, like, he tells me it, again and again. How beautiful it is, gorgeous it is, how much it turns him on. This is a first, but a very pleasant first.

" ...maybe you like the window open when you sleep so you can fucking breathe like a lung-haver, and your partner likes the window closed because you're dating some sort of chemosynthetic prokaryote native to anoxic deep-sea trench-mud."

Maybe just take a break from yourself. Try seeing other people.

This is how my vagina feels about this issue:

Ugh. The world needs an unending stream of Beyonce albums way more than it needs another human baby. COME ON BEYONCE THINK OF WHAT THIS MEANS FOR HUMANITY.

I think it will be Lilac Lilac. Two birds, one stone.

That's possibly the most KANYE WEST love song ever. Now I want to read the card he got her for Valentine's Day.

You must be tired of running through my mind/ Can I come inside? … I'm also awesome ...

Yes. Because when a teenager sees another teenager who is pregnant, they go, "OMG WHAT? I CAN GET PREGNANT? WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY TELL ME! SOMEONE BRING ME A TEENAGE BOY STAT!"

Someone's got a great career ahead of her as a trauma room doctor, if her reaction to a blood-covered gown is "bring me some water and turn the music up."

Yeah, because ONLY women love haircuts and ONLY men like zombies and football. I'm sure it blows your mind to know that boys don't have to wear blue and girls don't have to wear pink.

The best part of the Tiger Woods hammered at the Met Ball situation is, by far, this:

Sure, let's manufacture some bitchy catfight between two women who are obviously close friends, instead of acknowledging that this song is about domestic abuse.

This song has like 2 lines in it about being less-than-100%-full-throated-overjoyed for Beyonce's success, and the entire rest of it is about being isolated and abused by an intimate partner, and this is the headline we're going with?