I have been known to drop a “per my previous email” or “see below” while forwarding said previous email. That’s only when we’ve been going around for too long about some shit I know I said, or if someone tries to call me out on not doing something I know I did or doing something I know I didn’t do. “You never told me…

Thank you for your quick reply. I understand that you would like to have 3 months of credit and your internet connection fixed in the next 24 hours. However, you currently have a residential budget connection with a service level agreement of “sometime next week, if you’re lucky”, and it is not likely that this will…

“Please let me know if you have any questions.” = Read the fucking email you goddamn moron.

I’ve worked in an office for 18 yrs and I’ve used every one of these except “more than happy to further discuss if needed” because I am almost never more than happy to do a single thing but clock out.

Oooh. I will buy tickets to this!

Dorothy Parker would sail over Trump’s head higher than the ISS, but I’d enjoy it immensely.

If it was Jesus it would just turn into a modern version of Dostoevsky’s “Grand Inquisitor” from The Brothers Karamazov where they immediately have him killed for getting in the way of their plans. Because these people don’t give a fuck about Jesus’ teachings and would have even less use for the real one telling them…

Fair enough, but I think he would be the one doing the laughing— he was right.

For sure, but I’m not sure he’d be held in the esteem he was if he was still around. The guns, the bizarre love of Rand’s Howard Roark, the repeated use of racial slurs in his work and not as quotes, people’s inability to distinguish satire, sarcasm and dramatization, plus any skeletons that might have been in his…

Yeah, this one is locked up. He famously wrote to a friend about the Barry Goldwater GOP convention:

Exceptional.

+1 Holy War!

Theres nothing debatable about Thompson's very left politics. His contempt for Nixon is overwhelming, but he also excoriated all the haughty dipshits that would wail and gnash their teeth and do exactly nothing about him because that would be a disruption to their lives. Freak Power would have backed Bernie Sanders…

3. George Carlin - to tell it like it fuckin’ is Sorry,#3 is CANCELED!!!

Fuck Hitchens.

Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I notice.

WE ARE NO LONGER TAKING SUBMISSIONS FOLKS!

Bag on Rogin for the first two all you like but Thompson is a decent answer and one I’ve seen proposed by people of all stripes.

1. Harambe - we need a new president

Hunter Thompson isn’t a bad one, though. I’d add in Vonnegut and Mark Twain to round out the “old angry anti-establishment establishment white literary figures” panel.