I hope the robots realize that if they want human jobs so badly, they just kill us all and take them. 

Unfortunately, (and yes, shockingly) that’s his regular face.

It’s like coming down from a panic attack.

I feel like “Pommes Dauphine” would be a good name for the wayward protagonist of a space opera about a royal scion galivanting about the fading stars of a dying empire.

I like making stews and curries that take a long time to develop and reduce. Recently, I’m obsessed with doro wat. Good shit. 

I’m gonna try this too! My sauce drawer is full of ant traps and loctite blue so it’s gonna be spicy.

Got an ad for a vibrator mid-way through the article. That’s just good synergy.

No!

No, it’s not like that. It’s not like that at all.

My comfort food has been Tom Yum. I’ve traveled all over during the pandemic, mostly bouncing between Manhattan, San Francisco, and Seattle for “essential” work, and I have become a connoisseur of, and expert in, Tom Yum. There’s a joint outside SeaTac that all the Thai air staff go to and holy shit, it’s good.  

There’s a food cart in Alameda called The Hideous Cylinder and what they do is cook everything in a big chimney-like upright cylinder over coals. Sort of like a fleshless burrito. The best one they do is called “The So-Called Alzabo”. It’s super flavorful, similar to al pastor, and after you eat it, you experience the…

Unless grocery stores are planning to, like, autoclave people’s lungs and mucus membranes when they enter ... holy shit, I just got an idea.  

When I was at school in Chicago, I had a friend who was an exchange student from Korea. One time, she went to visit a friend in Madison and traveled there via Greyhound. If you’ve never been to the Greyhound station in Chicago, it’s a goddamned nightmare, even by Greyhound standards. Anyway, once she got to Madison,…

Weed. The answer is weed.

Don’t patronize me, doc.

That’s what I keep telling my patients. But apparently, writing “Necco Wafers (barf) + Moderation [unintelligible dosage]” is frowned upon these days.

Jesus christ, doc. This is the kind of nonsensical rhetoric that turns people away from the sound advice of medical professionals.

My grandma, an immigrant from the Orient, loved White Castle for some inscrutable, god-forsaken reason. She would often get a bunch of sliders to feed me, when my parents dropped me off at her house, as if it were some kind of treat? Anyway, she’s dead now, so she’ll never see robots take over her beloved eatery. 

Mmmm dumpling-esque bodies.

I got beef with anybody being mean to guardian Uldren. Guardren.