Not even close.

You guys should start publishing those “Bernie or Hilary” memes too. That’d be funny.

Reaching it is not the same thing as dunking a basketball in it! When I was in 10th grade and at my athletic peak, playing high school sports and shit, I could get my fingertips on a regulation rim, and I’m 5'8" or 5'9". I emphatically could not dunk. Not even close.

I’m trying to figure out how one game in late December significantly affects their playoff chances.

This is the most unintentionally hilarious Deadspin post I have read in a while. It’s great!

I may be crazy, but it is still December, right?

Seriously...

And some would make the argument that that’s all he can hope for - to be better than he was. Any of us, really. I applaud it (and I’m a Chicago resident, for goodness sakes).

Hot take: Texas will beat Baylor.

Fine, let’s talk about the Bengals. You’ve played nobody and really only have about 4 decent looking opponants left on the schedule (Pitt twice, Arizona, Denver) and I fully expect you guys to go 12-4 and get murdered by some mediocre team like the Jets after your bye week in the playoffs.

The bengals are a team that could go 15-1 and we’d still laugh and be like, it’s the fucking bangals... Come’on... This is grown folk business...

The lesson to other people of color who suffer at the hands of the NYPD is clear: become a fan favorite at the US Open for a decade or so.

Is Flacco’s hair elite?

I watched Flacco’s interview after the game last night and I wondered how come his hair looked so effortlessly stylish even after wearing a helmet. Same with a bunch of other QBs with longer hair like Matt Ryan, Brady of course, etc.

Kevin Smith getting stuck in an airplane seat.

“Your honor, my client clearly had no choice but to escalate the situation with chewing tobacco. The video evidence clearly shows the other driver with his hand upon his hip.”

Another 1L trying to get pedantic, who hasn’t yet learned about the model penal code. Almost every state charcterizes this as assault. We don’t like in England, ca. 1235, so we aren’t bound by common law anachronisms.

I agree; people are entirely too ignorant. Let me explain.

Assault

Ummm...I know you just got hit in the back by two grown high schoolers, and you ref football in Texas, but “nothing short of” basically means the same as “is.” In fact, it implies that these kids probably should be charged with something more than assault.