God, calling her “Patty” is so condescending.

Do we even know she was raped? She could have been scalped like the piano guy, for all we know...

There is an emergency shut off button on each host’s butthole, so you just have to press it to make them stop!

I was prepared to give this four episodes (I’m not super into sci-fi) before making a decision, but turns out I didn’t need four. This was fucking great, and I would have binged it all last night if it had been available.

You don’t even want to know what they were tweeting at Ha Ha Clinton-Dix

Waking up every day in St. Louis must count as a bit of a loss, no?

This looks just like those idiots I drove by in Portland who were playing competitive leap-frog.

After seeing last week’s Jets game, they were worried the bomber would get intercepted.

With the star defensive end out, Dallas has only one recourse...Call Greg Har...
Ex-NFL Star Greg Hardy -- Arrested for Cocaine

Curt hasn’t been this invested in a trainwreck since 38 Studios.

Be Aggressive. B-E-Aggressive.

“My roommate started a fight with me over fruit-storage techniques.”

Gives “We’re doing it live” a whole new meaning.

I’m pretty sure I am going to win this. I lived with all of the roommates below in on campus apartment style housing in a single school year:

Damn bro you were such an asshole having all that sex you want to tell deadspin about. Sex in the common areas bro? And you also had sex with a roommate’s crush when she came over bro? Bro Congrats on the sex bro, you little alpha stud you.

My first dorm roommate was a senior who was dating a junior at a local HS and wasn’t around very often, but I would have to leave when she would visit. He moved out after the first quarter (because who wants semesters) and for the next quarter, had the dorm to myself. Came back from spring break and new roommate was…

French exchange roommate who showered once a week and only listened to Jimmy Cliff. He also brought an impressive parade of women into the room. He banged em during the day when I had class but I walked in on him once eating ass like a Lions fan. This was in 2001 when balloon knot buffets were not common, even in…

The cross campus bus had a stop outside my dorm down a small grassy hill that would stop there if people were waiting. One day my freshman year I was late for class (shocker) and was running to meet a bus that was just about to pass that stop.

“While he was there, he had a roomate he really loved masterbating”