Just watched it. Pretty decent film. Already on blu ray and streaming ... not as great as Cabin in the Woods, but I liked the 2nd act’s survival quest enough to where I too was laughing at this shitty review.

The last movie that frightened me in an original and fresh way was The Descent way back in 2006. I’ve enjoyed movies since, like The Conjuring, The Babadook and It Follows but those films have had a mission of being homages of earlier horror.

Every pretentious twentythirtysomething critic thinks that writing lambasting a story about a guy writing a story—and “elevating” a genre by pointing out its clichés—is a stroke of genius

Actually, “Scream” (and its sequels) are nothing more than glorified Scooby Doo episodes. “Let’s see who the killer REALLY is!”

Can’t. I take commenting on bloviating movie reviews very seriously.

This. And furthermore the whole premise of his rant is ineffectual and shrill. Those movies cited weren’t parodies necessarily. Student Bodies is a parody. Those were homages (Cabin) or straight fucking comedies (Tucker and Dale). He might as well say Peter Seller’s Casino Royale ruined the spy thriller. Or piranha 3d…

A lot of people I know have critiqued “A Cabin in the Woods” for similar issues but I never thought of it as snarky or smarmy. To me it was very much a love letter to the genre but also a call for horror movies to step up their game. It wasn’t so much a “this genre is corny and dumb” as “do better than a cabin in the…

Oh my god this. I made it 3 paragraphs in and scrolled down before I realized it was another 10 before he even mentioned the movie being reviewed. This review was dog shit. Be ashamed author.

I can’t even remember the last time a movie scared me... Hellraiser did, but that might have been the acid. Probably a poor decision on my behalf.

Counterpoint: Torture porn is the nadir of real horror. There are actually good meta-horror movies (ie. Evil Dead 2, Cabin in the Woods). There are no good Saws/Hostels/Human Centipedes.

I don’t know if they’re “real horror” or whatever and I don’t care, but “Shaun of the Dead” is an awesome movie, “The Cabin in the Woods” is an awesome movie, “The Babadook” is an awesome movie, “You’re Next” is an awesome movie, and although I haven’t seen either, I’m sure I’ll like “It Follows” and “The Final Girls.”

As if Seth Rogen inspires more confidence. lol.

People who prey on the weak, or prey on anybody really, with full knowledge, are scumbags. I’m sorry your folks got taken in.

The real tragedy here is that Bartolo Colon failed to get out of the stadium in time to make it to Old Country Buffet before they closed for the night.

He also looks like the nicest guy in the world lol. I’m white, but I’m a bigger guy with a gnarly beard — you out the 2 of us in a lineup and I’d guess me as the criminal if I were forced to guess/choose.

probably because of that big fuckin black shape in front of his face

When asked why he still continues to dine at the Tadich Grill after these revelations, Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder replied, “My polling shows that African Americans regard being treated as ‘separate but equal’ as a source of pride.”

You guys miss the point, the star wars saga is about telekinetic robot, called R2D2, who controls human minds and plays out the space opera out of whimsy.

It’s pronounced Yub Nub. Thank you very much.

I think you mean Phantom Menace.