I was willing to chalk it up to the card being weirdly worded, but Miss Universe 2015 in giant letters is pretty plain. Also, fuck Steve Harvey for making me even aware that the Miss Universe pageant happened.

Distance happened.

What kind of sicko pays for porn?

Hey, as someone who follows the league, just thought I’d give a bit of background here.

Charlotte’s only lost twice since Thanksgiving, to the Cavs and the Warriors (which is forgivable, since losing to them is like losing to gravity.)

SO are we just gonna ignore this?!

Meanwhile, in Canada, our new Defense Minister is sworn in;

Psst... That’s the joke....

Sikh and Islam are completely different religions which aren’t remotely related to each other. It’s like racists aren’t even trying to educate themselves anymore.

It’s like they don’t even have the 1st Amendment over there.

I'm guessing he was probably trying to watch a soccer game.

Pussy’s always tearing families apart.

He should not have didgeridone that.

“I don’t always spill my beer on people. But when I do, I make sure it’s televised.”

BREAKING: COMBAT SPORTS ATTRACT AGGRESSIVE INDIVIDUALS

Be poor

You know you fucked up when Philadelphia has the moral high ground

#blackcoffeematters

Remember kids: Black Lives Matter is a bunch of whiners who are looking for reasons to be offended. The real oppression is a lack of Christmas iconography on your coffee cups.

Please, anything but the physics!