jazzyturtleneck
jazzyturtleneck
jazzyturtleneck

Never change Bobby.

I literally lost my iPhone 2 hours ago. I’ve checked the house, the car, gone back to the daycare for the diaper bag, everything. Log into Find My iPhone and see every Apple device iOwn except the damn phone.

Right, me too. Just seeing a mere mention of the Obamas on the news make me a whole lot better. I’m soooooooo bloody tired of the worthless Trumps, goddamnit.

Wait. The Killers are still happening? I miss the early aughts so damn much!

While I agree that joggers on sidewalks have to yield to regular pedestrians . . . where are people supposed to jog?

You must like to walk while looking at your phone.

Sidewalk etiquette? Dude has plenty of room, as mentioned. Also she’s walking on an angle to give him more room. As a frequently disgruntled jogger who wishes the world would put more effort into sidewalk etiquette, I feel pretty confident he just wanted to push a woman in front of a bus.

He once dragged a cross up a hill for Easter.

I heard he was a cheating cheater. Don’t know if its true or not but I believe it.

he can’t juggle a growing family with his career

Some of her characters (Gilly ugh) were definitely a tad annoying but I think she’s really talented. She co-wrote Bridesmaids! How can you be annoyed by someone who co-wrote Bridesmaids!!??? YOU CAN’T. Also her Björk and Lana del Ray and impressions are flawless.

Why? She was amazing in the Diary of a Teenage Girl. I honestly don’t understand the Jez hate for Kristen fucking Wiig (??).

Seem to me having twitter diarrhea is his job.

Hahaha, me too! Every time I’m in Costco, I visit the Dyson fan. I want the model that can also act as a heater. SWOON

This fucker...

How else would people know you’re working hard?

I’m so lame the dyson fan and hair dryer are on my “if I ever win the lottery” list of things to buy.

I always tweet that I’m working hard, while I’m working hard.

That Dyson blade-less fan is where it’s at ;)

President Lazy Boy is a draft dodger. All of his attacks are about his own shortcomings. You don’t need to be shrink to see that.