As a youning I believe that hunk is a good word, but I feel like I’m an old at times.

Nice Celebrity III: James Garner chatted my mom up at a bar when she was in college! He came up to her, took a swig of her beer, and was charming without being creepy.

Didn’t even think about a “lazy millennial” comment. This is a legit reason to be late to work. (33 year old, here). I’m all about your priorities.

I’ve gone to work late because it was on HBO at like five in the morning.

I “met” Julia Stiles at a super dive bar in the east village once, around a dozen years ago. I yelled at her for putting her coat on the booth I was waiting to claim. She was so freaking nice! I apologized (as I would have done with anyone) and she was totally cool with my crazy drunkenness at 21 years old. I’m…

They just won the downstairs lottery. Ever read Amy Poehler’s book? She claims to have the Angelina Jolie of vaginas.

That’s why it’s important to read the reviews first!

Well played.

You never see porn actresses without the shiniest, smoothest, pinkest genitals. Some have to be using bleaching cream.

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They do cost a million dollars each, to be fair.

This is a spoof on an article from The Refinery or something. You’re safe.

.............

Perfection.

This is a very bad take. You should be ashamed of yourself. And he was just issued a restraining order for his continued abuse and terror of a girlfriend. That was less than 6 months ago.

It’s like 2 months since his last beau got a restraining order against him, spoiler alert Chris Brown is still an unrepentant shithead

Yeah, there are multiple things wrong with Chris Brown still being as popular as he is. Maybe it’s because single fathers seem to gain more sympathy than single mothers. I mean, he treats his daughter like a princess and loves her... that surely means he’s changed his mindset and ways, right?! /s

I’m more comfortable talking about the tortoise.

This isn’t real, right? Because I am a single dad with a daughter and I cannot explain this level of care.

Awwww, here I was, hoping to see a review of John Oliver’s taint wipes. Bummer.