We can’t. He slept with my married best friend and broke up her family so I don’t see him much.

Thx, that’s nice of you.

Ha that is a nice throwback.

Haha I’m old. Time fucking flies, I swear I didnt realize it was 20 years ago. It’s like when I look in the mirror and shit some middle-aged lady is looking back at me. The story I told did happen, I promise, don’t let my dementia time skills make you suspect it. It was a hotel bar/restaurant in Chicago.

Good point. Avoid Pat.

My friend was at a bar several years ago when Chris Farley walked in. It was late, Farley was a sweaty incoherent mess but friendly. He walked up to their table, said “hi” and asked if anyone had any drugs. He was dead like a week later. I feel like all these Aaron Carter stories are leading up to something bad.

The one lynx didn’t accept the other lynx’s invitation on Lynxed-in. Lynx are big networkers.

More like he heard his wives want to drive or vote or some such nonsense.

This made me giggle to the point of alarming my pets.

Has anyone trademarked the phrase “my life has been somewhat disappointing?” No? I call dibs.

Oh wow. You are right.

I’m sure that money will make for a lovely kitchen update in the southwest guest wing of the Osteen’s Jesus approved mega mansion.

 Can I just say I think it’s funny that you started out your post on your fitness journey with “good gravy?” I immediately wanted mash potatoes and gravy but after reading about your hard work and success I’m going to take a pass. Good job though!

You say nuts, I say unhinged. It’s like being trapped in a yahoo or MSN comment section. Unusual for Jez.

Mm kay. Don’t forget to apply sunscreen to your extremely thin skin. Also maybe a nap? Picking fights with so many internet strangers has to give you the sleepies.

I know, right? The hate just seems a little intense about people who are essentially strangers.

You don’t seem angry at all. (Eyeroll backsies)

I think this is the meanest thread I’ve read on Jez in a long while. The personal hate people have for celebrities is interesting.

This video reminds me of when I went through with a wedding. Unfortunate choice.

Yep. The only thing dummy Don will leave is a presidential chair that smells like a big old steak fart.