I’m on the couch reciting dialogue along with “Office Space” and reading Jez. I should be cleaning out the gutters. I’m like astronaut Peggy’s derelict cousin who doesn’t get invited to family reunions because I double dip the buffalo chicken dip.

It was that or the Shehawks. It was so much fun seeing the pained expressions at the draft every time out turn came up and our name was announced, the dudes were such babies. “Oooh gross, tampons.” Heh.

My friend and I were the only girls in a 16 team fantasy football league for several years. It was co-workers and their friends. Serious fucking business, I bought magazines, did research. We made the playoffs every year and won the super bowl once (around $1200 prize). Our team name: Tampon Bay Buccaneers. Our motto:…

City and county run shelters are not like this, only private breed or dedicated rescues who have highly desired pure breeds who need re-homed. We have fostered forever and most people are within an easy driving distance of a publicly funded shelter where they just have you fill out an application and take the dog.…

This! I have been fostering for 20 years and our city animal control will unfortunately and fortunately let a person walk out with any dog or cat without ever checking on your housing. They don’t have that luxury. If you are going through a breed rescue they are picky and that’s okay because it’s part of their…

“Let clothes be clothes,” except for turtlenecks. Watch those fuckers,  totally sketchy.

Yep. I am fully aware that nostalgia is the opiate of the masses and I say to that “bring that fucking  Will and Grace mind blur on.” The world is difficult to navigate right now, Karen and Jack are the Oxycomedy I want.

Yeah I am euphoric every time I leave. I feel so much better that I do it. Glad yours went okay.

I can’t post pics but my pupper who is wearing the cone of shame because she tore up her spay incision 2 weeks later sends her sad snugs.

So an adult moment was when I realized no one was going to make me go to the dentist. My parents saw that I went regularly as a kid. When I moved out I went several years because, boooo, the dentist (Probably a genuine phobia). Then a couple fillings fell out, I was in my mid 20s and goddammit, did I want my Irish…

I have no idea why I’m out of the grays so I am starring the shit out of these but yours deserves special mention because it is awesome.

Still worth repeating.

I work with medical learners. Every year I age but they stay the same. This year actual licensed medical doctors could have been born in 1991. 19 fucking 91.

I’m going with “The Wannsee Conference,” part 2, 3, 4, etc.

This is a great take. You should post it somewhere where more people read it. I regret that I only have one star to give.

This could be fun. I’m not a fan of the current wave of waify girl yodelers so some full voiced rockers would be refreshing.

Mattis looks like total shit. Look at that photo, he doesn’t have bags under his eyes, it’s fucking luggage. Dipshit Donny is literally wearing out normal people who are just trying to serve their country.

Sorry it took me so long to star this excellent reply. You are dead right, I wish kinja wasnt so tempermental lately.

I tell you it’s dementia, dammit. That day-glow dipshit is going to kill us because he can’t pass a clock test.

She dances like I do when I pump up the monster jams while cleaning the house. All she’s missing is a spray bottle and slightly bewildered pets.