“On my office chair?!?”

Close family member???

*runs screaming into the night*

I hate to win pissing contest two weeks in a row, but if “I want to fuck you where you fart” isn’t a winner, then I don’t know what is. 

This is totes legit sexy for the parent set. Props to the wife for maintaining the horny.

I guy I had been casually seeing once texted me a picture of another man’s junk and asked “Do you want some of me?” I texted back asking why he was sending me pictures of another man’s more impressive dick. I didn’t hear anything back from him after that. 

Worst one I got was a birthday text, followed by a text about how I look in my birthday suit and what they wanted to do to me, which was then followed by a rather desperate text asking for the second message to be deleted.

That’s beautiful. Truly, no sarcasm, that’s awesome.

That got dark

The single people will laugh in derision. THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT AWAITS

I used to work directly across the street from the building I lived in and at the time my partner and I had somehow gotten into the habit of using ridiculous food euphemisms for sex. One day I was at work and got a message that said “If you come home right now, we can have egg salad sandwiches” so I dipped out of a…

This dude worked at the restaurant next to mine, we became friends would flirt/smoke weed after work occasionally. I move away, then move back about a year later. We realize we’re both living in the same neighborhood again so exchange numbers and flirt over text a bit.

Back in my dating days, a girlfriend once sent me a text during an argument: “ERROR: Clitoris not found.” It not only made me laugh, but I resolved to be more...generous orally.

Whipping his dick out was bad enough, but he also actively tried to ruin the careers of those women and anyone who tried to report on it as well. People don’t talk about that enough. Like so much fucking hand-wringing over a guy’s “ruined reputation” and literally nothing about the reps of all the women he crushed…

As she so often does, I think Roxane Gay has a really great take. Hopefully Garofalo will take some time to take the criticism on, reflect, and learn.

She also dragged out the “he’s my friend” and “question the source”, despite the fact questioning the source(s) is an idiotic statement because he admitted he did what everyone said he did.

A good way for comedians to be left alone is to not have your manager book gigs at comedy clubs. It works; ask Dave Chapelle. It is also entirely possible to criticize C.K. while being his friend. You are not being disloyal by pointing out, when asked, that a good friend fucked up/is a fuck-up.

She’s really using the “He has daughters!” excuse? And tossing in “I’ve known him forever!” and “You weren’t there!”

it’s fun to watch Mr. Kellyanne publicly troll his own wife, but that bloated tub of vomit-soaked copies of Atlas Shrugged is hardly a democrat.

He’s not even a Democrat! He’s a conservative that understands and expresses belief in a moderate amount of facts. And (nothing against you) what’s scary is that the belief and expression of facts is enough for people to believe he’s a Democrat.