Or a participation trophy.

I’m quietly and patiently waiting for the Taylor Swift backlash to begin. I am so irritated by everything she does and I don’t really know why. Maybe it’s because she has a touch of that everything-must-be-perfect-at-all-times/ “NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!” vibe to her.

I’d second genetics and also, STAY OUT OF THE FUCKING SUN. You bet your ass that this 60 year old Southern lady stayed out of the sun when she was young.

Skin care secret: genetics. Besides basic good sense (sunscreen, smoking etc etc) there’s nothing you can do to outrun genetics. I have taken zero care of my face and thanks to my parentage look 10 years younger than I am. Unsurprisingly so did my dad and mom.

And as the cool autumn winds started picking up speed, Billy Ray walked silently up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder, “Anything to harvest this year Miley?”

I kind of can’t help liking this chick. The field in which she grows her fucks is clearly barren.

I hope Sarah penalizes every motherfucker that says those misogynistic comments on the field we all know are coming.

As a lifelong football fan who wished as a girl that I could play, this makes me so happy. The to-the-point headline rocks too. :)

I thought this guy was an idiot, but now i can’t help but think Huckabee is evil. A 10 year old rape victim. A child whose body is not fully grown being forced to maintain a pregnancy. There is no other word that fits men like this.

I like Kirsten Dunst, but I also do not. Anyone else feel that way?

I created a burner just so I can post this, but it won't post and whatever. I'm not ashamed.

“Do you see how different this strip is from the one in 1955?”

Ten minutes later, my eyes are still rolling.

This team has played almost 50 NFL seasons without winning a single title. That is hard to do.

Certainly would help calm down Browns, Cavs and Bengals fans from their yearly fails.

He’s definitely a giver.

I used to be a piercer. That is one of the less painful dick piercings you can get, and genital piercings actually heal very quickly.

Dear, just read the article. It’s much more efficient than waiting for someone to answer your questions, but I think the answers you are looking for are Yes, Because He Wanted To, and Yes.

My dog, Princess Trudy, died this afternoon. I’m overwhelmed with emotion, but amazed at the love outpouring from family and friends. She was 16 1/2, and had a great life.

every time i see a kinja notification, i sigh and say, “what stupid shit did i say this time?”