now i need to go watch that for the 47th time, thx

Lupita is the sun and we are all Cillian Murphy.

Honk.

Only a person who has never been on the delivery table would want their fantasy man seeing the view from the other end.

Aww, that’s such a sweet thing to say! I do leave positive feedback on good articles but I don’t see a point in kissing ass when something clearly didn’t work. And I’d have way more respect for the editors if they just said “whoops, guess we missed the mark on this one” rather than coming down here to start fights and…

I think a lot of super hot guys don’t need to impress anyone and date whoever the fuck they wanna date. and you’d limit your pool of really awesome women by only searching for dimes.

It didn’t work as full satire because the voice is pretty much in line with Jezebel’s usual tone, like you could have replaced maxi dresses with something else a Jez writer hates, like Ansel Elgort, and it wouldn’t have seemed out of place. So it read as, the writer genuinely has these feelings about the maxi dress…

SATIRE FAILURE, Jia. Huge failure.

Yeah, I’m not gonna lie, it was rough at the beginning so I actually didn’t read the end and went straight on into talking about maxi dresses with all the cool commenting ladies of Jez.

My body has been ready since I was in 7th grade.

UNH Mulder! My body is ready...

I also use a cup and I agree for the most part. I definitely have been more aware of how much I bleed since using it. However, I feel like using a cup almost allows me to ignore the fact that I have my period for most of the day, since at most, I only have to empty it maybe four times a day, and most of the time, it…

Nothing will top “Quail in Rose Petal Sauce.”

When a woman gets rape and death threats on Twitter, she should totes ignore it. When a popular male actor/director/comedian gets criticized (by women) on Twitter, well, that poor, poor man! Why can’t those mean, internet bully women leave. him. alone? Why you bitches gotta bother everybody allll the time? Relax! I’m…

I didn’t even know he was in MMXL and now I am swooooooning

I had no idea Donald Glover was going to be in Magic Mike XXL. Apparently I will be going to see Magic Mike XXL.

...

that was about a senior magician having Boner Feels for a younger magician

Honestly I don’t know if the opinion im about to express is morally correct or makes sense to anyone but fuck it I’ll say it anyway. Although I do want to say before I start on my rant that I’m not from the USA but from Britain and that I felt the same about the London riots a few years ago.

Since we all might need a slightly happier tale, here’s a great response teachers can have when alerted to this, via a PE coach I had in sixth grade. I switched schools halfway through the year to escape bullying, and on my first day at the new one I was trying not to make waves. During PE I was just kind of hanging…