Absolutely. I used to have a large, purple hemangioma on the left side of my forehead I had removed for health reasons a few years ago. I feel bad but I inadvertently chuckled when he said he didn’t really like it because a) it’s in a place most people don’t see, b) it’s maybe like 2-3 shades darker than his skin…

Lately I’ve been seeing a penis with a light birthmark on it and I think it’s quite cute and endearing. Sadly the owner of the penis does not think so.

When I was younger I used to have similar reactions to my mother’s talks/warnings.

I didn’t always say I’m cooler but it’d along the lines of, ‘don’t worry mom I know what’s up.’ But that’s the vibe I got from the kid’s response.

It sounds like Thandie was like my mother in that she’s made her children aware of all…

Or perhaps this delightful animated cockroach girl?
And by delightful I mean, why does this exist???

“I’m so tired lately. Thank god for the weekend.”
*from the other room*
“Aww, thanks babe!”
“Damn it, I didn’t mean you!”

Seeing as how Whataburger is practically the state food I find it hilarious any Texan would try to use fat as an insult.

SAME. Instant classic.

I couldn’t even finish that blurb about her new movie.

I’m sure she’s great and that movie will probably win all those indie awards but my goldfish attention span will not withstand the boredom.

Seriously. That’s like if Admiral Ackbar wormed his way into Twilight and got to Kristen first.

The artist in me wants to cry. But the stoner in me is excited.

I’m certainly not handling it well by any means. The scariest part is that I can see how we got here. I can look back, put the pieces together,and even before Trump was elected I understood that there was a truly terrifying illness in our country that led to having a disembodied asshole for a president.

And I see a…

America’s First Family: The Trumps Go To Washington

All I can think of is this guy:

Oh wow you are like a cautionary tale for us all. I’ve been so wrong about the readiness of a butt hole. Never again!

If only we all had Gandalf protecting our paths.

True. I suppose in my experience those accidental moments have included one but not the other. Actually...for better or worse, I have not used lube much. Perhaps that is how I’ve spared myself from such an event thus far.

The shit made that path, and the shit keeps it.

That is a beautiful statement and the next time a guy finds himself down there I’m gonna whisper that into his ear.

Exactly! I’ve had the occasional bump (hehe) or two but it wasn’t really going anywhere. You gotta get that area ready if you wanna slip right in.

I understand accidental bumpage into the good ol’ butt hole but actual penetration? Are we talking just tip here because I suppose that’s understandable.

Maybe it’s just my butt hole but it’s def not open and inviting enough to accept a penis accidentally.

There was only one time where I sort of “caught” them. I was up really late in the living room watching a movie and I turned the volume down cause I didn’t want to wake my parents up (their bedroom is right off the living room which kind of sucked for them in that way).

And then I heard some moans and I was like…

Yeah it was never in our faces or anything but there were distinct times were, ok we all go off and do our own thing now and if mom and dad’s bedroom door is closed then you need to respect that privacy.

I think most of the time they were just watching Judge Judy anyways.