“Desk duty, with pay.”

“...giving away three shirts for free...”

“I’m gonna boycott NBA2K...by burning their products I’ve already given them cash for. MAGA.”

They wanted him to “take a look” for “an inspection” but also “[he] was backup.” WAT. Can this asshole get through even one point with any coherence?

Don’t forget about ‘golden parachutes.’ Ran the company into the ground? Here’s your millions on your way out! Thanks byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye!

1. “I was being ‘sarcastic’. Please ignore the section on the pre-made display also referencing ingesting/injecting bleach and also that it’s a completely inappropriate time for the POTUS to be making ‘jokes’. FAKE NEWS.”

Should’ve told him that got a whole stash his ‘energy candy’ down there.

There are infinite examples of this dipshit not even being to lie well, among other things, and this is just one more. He could’ve just said the Secret Service made him go to the bunker for security reasons but, after a short time, he superceded their directive and decided that he needed to be public and present as a…

They don’t. Unless you’re a think-skinned dipshit throwing a tantrum and thinking his executive powers are unlimited.

WHAT A FUCKING HERO COTTON IS. STOOD UP TO A STRAW MAN.

The “Voting ain’t gon change shit” excuse is so pathetic. Just sign up for mail in ballots. YOU DONT EVEN NEED A STAMP. Like, ex-convicts are fighting to get their voting rights back and people out here cant even open and then send an envelope.

Were you salivating, while sporting a giant, happy grin? Cause that would do it.

I’d have preferred he won and stayed in the race to shit the bed in the general election instead. POS replaced by less overt POS is not really a win, in my opinion. Though it is a win for schadenfreude.

“Come back and get ya some more ole girl, I’ll be on the line again tonight.”

I harbor a huge crush for Natasia Demetriou. I’ve been working on my vagina-esque topiary trimming skills.

“She’s playing the black card...” - Karen

+White House roof snipers

There’s a place here in SF called My Tofu House that I love (and people will probably crap on because SF) that makes Korean stew with tofu. It’s delicious, especially if you can also serve yourself some banchan.

I eat SPAM Lite (50% less fat, 25% less sodium, 33% less calories) nowadays and either slice it and pan fry it (for musubi or basically a deconstructed musubi plate) or chop it up and make fried rice with it. Or sometime for breakfast with with eggs.