Punches thrown: A lot

Don’t forget, he puts ropes around his Lamborghini too.

I’m sad Marshawn Lynch is gone, because that means the thickest Oakland accent this side a Mac Dre album is going with him.

Pete Carroll has already begun looking for a crisis actor to replace Lynch.

Hugely likeable guy.
Great career; got his ring, got his money.
Quit when you’re ahead and you’re healthy.

Respect.

Chris O’Donnell is still the worst Dick Grayson, but Allen is closing the gap fast.

Let he who DOESN’T always answer the door naked from the waist down cast the first stone. Thought so.

Officer Hatfield finally gets what’s coming to him.

I don’t know about this story, sounds pretty shady.

...Portis revealed his income is $3,500 a month in NFL disability payments...

Oops! I was cleaning my keyboard, and my trigger finger accidentally hit the dismiss button. /shrug. So a few innocent bystander comments died. Collateral damage, I guess. Whaddya gonna do?

I live in Chicago, where we just had 51 homicides this past January. Fifty-fucking-one! In one month! In one city! I think it’s time we gave up the “I just have my gun for protection” argument. For every one homicide that could be potentially averted by a good samaritan with a gun, how many senseless gun-related…

“If he was throwing games, how do you explain his 4.1 yards per carry?”

Randle was reached for a reply and denied he ever gambled, “I merely enjoyed playing Draft Kings like millions of my fellow Americans, which is a game of SKILL, not gambling.”

That joke stinks.

So like lemme preface this by saying I really only come to Deadspin to make stupid jokes and sometimes make fun of the Gawker crowd and also to be like “Hey guys remember when this was just a vanity project for Will ‘The Man From Mattoon’ Leitch? Did he ever get to be grand marshal of the Bagel Days Parade?” But when…

So did the perps!