seriously though, clowning is probably one of the most difficult circus disciplines because it is so very easy to be very bad at it. Birthday party and Shriner clowns are an abomination to this world.

Piff whatever. If you knew anything about Emmett Kelly, Otto Griebling and the Golden age of circus you would have a favorite clown too. I'm talking about art here, friend. Not some hackey travesty written by Stephen King. I weep for the shallowness of your existence.

It was awful. It ended up changing a lot of fire safety codes in the US and Ringling didn't play Hartford for decades.

It's an amazing picture from a horrible horrible tragedy. The bleachers in the background were covered by a 10,000 seat tent that went up in like 10 or 11 minutes. It's easily the worst circus disaster in American circus history.

Hey now, let's not bring Emmett Kelly into this, he's a legend and a goddamned hero.

I did not know that. I think everyone in my mom's classes are about her age, so maybe it's not as full on as other classes. I think they also do some step and some work with small weights. I really love hearing her talk about it though. She loves "learning all the moves" and hearing "new music" (top 40 from like the…

My mom does Jazzercize. It's basically aerobics to top 40 music (don't ask where the 'jazz' comes in). She loves it and goes a couple of times a week—and good the fuck for her—she looks better at 60 than she did at fifty. She's constantly trying to get me to go and while I love my mother and I'm glad it's working for…

they had thongs then too. Horrible highcut thongs, sometimes one-piece thongs and sometimes worn over tights. We should all be glad those days are over and we should pray they never return.

In this Thanksgiving season, can we all just take a moment to be glad those hi-cut bikini and leotard bottoms are out of style? Because, that seems like a lot of unnecessary shaving to me.

The shitty part in both cases is that they were asking for professional level talent, not just enthusiastic amateurs. Amanda asked for resumes and proof of stage experience and Oprah's people were contacting performers directly, presumably through their websites or other professional contacts.

For years I've been asking them to stop writing, sometimes I've been really nice, sometimes I've been really mean. It doesn't seem to matter so sometimes I snark back to entertain myself.

I will take that a step further and say that TV people are the worst. You basically sell your soul when you get in the production business.

you don't make money hula hooping, you make money performing. Not everyone who can hula hoop can put together a professional act.

This bullshit is pretty common in the industry especially with TV people. They think pretty much everybody is dying to get on TV. America's got talent calls me at least once or twice a year. Not because I'm a big shot, but because they are trawling for whoever they can find. They're like "you get a free trip to LA."…

Maybe Bono could write them a song? Do You Even Know What Equality Means? Might not be as catchy as Do They Know It's Christmas Over There? But it'd be less racist.

Two thoughts:

In my old neighborhood (it doesn't happen so much where I live now) they did more than ask me to smile; they'd ask me to get in. I used to walk to the grocery store greasy haired, in unwashed sweat pants and an over-sized sweatshirts (there is no one at the Safeway that I'm trying to impress) and let's be honest, I'm…

I camp for breakfast all the time, but I always eat between the rushes, pay early (I get the same thing every time so I usually just put the money out when I finish eating) and never take a four top to myself.

I usually wear tennis shoes that slip on and off and throw my sweater in my carry on before I go through. I keep my liquids, and laptop in my messenger bag so all I have to do is open the flap pop out my liquids and laptop, slip off my shoes plop everything on the conveyor belt and walk through. Easy, peazy, done. I…

Thanks to the advent of EasyJet and Ryan Air and the crash of the US dollar, roving bands of English chavs have far surpassed Americans as Europe's shittiest tourists.