There can be no doubt...

She's the total package, alright.

Who says he actually bought this mattress? This sounds like the kind of guy who does his mattress shopping curbside on trash day.

Actually, he was moving to Burlington from Jacksonville... he got the box spring on the first trip without incident.

I'll just leave this here...

Obviously he was referring to the 1981 Dodge Aries Pace Car Edition.

If Porsche had used a Panamera, they cold have gotten all million names on there.

I'd chip in five bucks for a bust of Bubbles.

There was a black one at the "Ferraris on Fifth" car show here in Naples, FL last weekend. I liked it better in person than in photos. Now I can go back to disliking it again... thanks, Paris, for clearing up that confusion for me!

Whatever you do, don't click on the linked article. I swear, I think I lost ten I.Q. points just reading that crap.

Because a 500 lb. animal with two-inch-long teeth doesn't have other ways of getting through an aluminum can, right?

Congratulations, guys. Now that you've gotten some vindication, how about a little more attitude?

I guess I can overcome my irrational hatred of the Cayenne long enough to admit that this is actually something of a bargain and vote Nice... Nope. Can't do it. Crack Pipe.

A commercial that simultaneously makes me a) not hate Eminem and b) kind of like the 200? There has to be some sort of subliminal tomfoolery going on here.

Here's how you distress a Porsche.

So Jimmy Kimmel's a Top Gear presenter now?

Well, it may be ugly, but at least it gets really shitty mileage. So at least it's got that going for it.

Have there really been 4,969,991 Nice Price or Crack Pipes? Damn, Graverobber, you've been busy!

You actually got six and a half minutes into this?

I didn't know that the actual purpose of Lambo doors was so some asshat with more money than sense could open them while driving. Somehow, they make more sense now.