‘They’re talking about us again! That’s good right??’

Not gonna lie. I've been saving this puppy for a Jalopnik Storm Area 51 post. My time has finally come. 

“And then you went on to call her a fucking slut.”

Hook this shit and the Boston bros brawl up to my veins, I already feel younger.

Someone airdrop that photo here

It’s just like the beginning of Good Will Hunting, except none of them are geniuses and it’s entirely their fault. 

That’s cool I cut my hand on my plastic starbucks lid and bled all over my khakis.

More like Five Guys (out of a job) amirite? 

“And if you’re wondering, yes, they will refund entry fees if the contest fails to meet its minimum letter number.”

Sounds like you’re in the palm of big glove!

Sounds like you’re in the palm of big glove!

You call THAT breasts physics?

I don’t know about you, but I ain’t doin’ shit even as we speak!

This. A million times this.

Every day, hundreds of millions of Americans play the game - go to work, earn money, spend money, repeat. Save a little coin along the way and one day you retire. That’s the way the game has always been played.

But yet, when we look at those who have been more successful at playing the exact…

Boy he’s gonna be really surprised when he hears about 9/11. 

Not necessary- chances are I may get fired mid season too

If I travel anywhere and I see that sign, I’m going the fuck back home.

I wonder if there will be a huge spike in births in 9 months like during blackouts of major cities?