I used to dislike her until about a year ago. She’s a lot more likeable than Swift and seems less guarded about her public persona. We know nothing about Taylor Swift as a person.

I don’t know how it happened. I am starting to like Katie Perry. This is the darkest timeline. It’s as if somebody went back in time to change the future and now we’re stuck like this.

Every morning when I wake up and check my Twitter feed and see that this piggy-eyed weasel fucker hasn’t died during the night, I’m so immensely disappointed with the universe.

Republicans gonna Republican.

Is everyone forgetting that the *Republicans* could have passed this without a single Democrat getting on board, and didn’t? Why is anyone playing into the narrative that the Democrats were the problem.

I wasn’t surprised at all. I don’t think this is a woman with a bestiality fetish so much as a couple who are making money by selling various types of illegal pornography.

rudely described as a “pensioner,”

It’s really embarrassing when anyone uses that term, especially as no one seems to be weirded out by saying the word, “penis.” Acting ashamed of the word, “vagina,” only reinforces the stigma that it’s something to be ashamed of.

Adult women should not say “vay jay jay”. Ever.

No wonder none of her stepkids want anything to do with her. It’s not about being trans, it’s about being such a petty little person that she’d use her memoir to smear a dead man while simultaneously making it all about how jealous said dead man supposedly was of Bruce Jenner.

“sexy bodycon jawn”

This man is a hero. The courage it must take to be an outspoken and highly-visible abortion provider in this day and age, when you have seen your colleagues killed, and in the face of rabid anti-choice activists and legislation, is tremendous. I fervently wish for his continued safety.

The shade/read confusion people seem to be experiencing is the same literally/figuratively confusion that resulted in Merriam motherfucking Webster changing the definition of literally to figuratively in order to match common usage.

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a person in possession of good receipts is delivering a read, not shade.”

New York City is the CrossFit of cities.

Hi. Philly is the best. That is all. I proudly gave it my only 10.

You know how I knew NYC would be at the top of the list? Because people who live there take every opportunity to talk about how it’s the best city, like they all have an inferiority complex. It’s like listening to Trump keep insisting that his hands aren’t small.

Because Philadelphia is awesome, beautiful city filled with world class museums, restaurants, bars and the world’s very worst sports teams.

That Baltimore would rank under Pittsburgh in this list is an affront to everything I know to be right and true.