If only they had asked about porn instead of his player getting a DUI.

Beat Your Meat, Not Your Wife

The religious con and the patriotic con are the most widely used and the most successful, because the marks come through the door ready to believe, and anyone who doesn’t believe is Satan or a Commie.

It’s weird how hackers always seem to go straight for liking porn tweets

When they go back to work on Monday, they will talk about this weekend with the same fervor they would about a bungee jumping or white water rafting trip. The thrill and energy of coming together, maybe getting a little pepper spray, standing up to cops and absolutely nothing happening to them at all that could…

You should also hope he stops beating the piss out of 70 year olds.

You’d think Ross Bjork of all people would be okay with big time sensuality.

I have $26 in my pocket. I’ll throw in a stapler and a half-full bottle of ACT mouthwash. That’s my final offer.

Trickery is the only way they’re going to fill that stadium on Sundays, too.

Remember when poker was really big? Poker pros with all the charisma of a moist towelette raking in that sweet endorsement money. That was a really stupid thing that happened.

The ‘Tics? Fuck you and your dog too

The Bernie Step would have still been there.

6 year olds, dude... That creep can throw, man.

To be fair, when they put it to a vote only 15 of 19 Saudi players voted against participation.

Retire, old man, you’re fucking useless. You can cluck your dessicated tongue and wag your bony finger at Trump’s antics all you want, but you don’t actually do a goddamn thing about it.

When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more championships to buy.

But what about the statue?

Say what you will, but Jeb has repeatedly refused to lick either the shoes or asses of famous New Yorkers.

Dumbshits whose names are acronyms, ranked.

Frida and her husband meet a random guy and some scantly clad women and he heads up to party with them and she’s ok with that?