I’m also saving thousands of dollars on diapers by not having kids. Can’t recommend it enough.

Sometimes if I’m alone in the house, I’ll go through a whole QB cadence like a goober to make me feel like I could actually orchestrate an NFL house.

This. This is the question, godammit.

Yeah, they develop that skill by practicing it from childhood on. No voice coach required. Like the Ump Voice, the QB Cadence has a self-perpetuating cycle of influence. I grew up with umps going STEEEEEEE and quarterbacks going BLUE EIGHTY!!!!!!, and I wanted to sound like that. Sounded super manly.

And why wasn’t the RA all up in their face like “ya’ll got to sleep somewhere else yo?”  Well, probably because RAs are only in it to get laid.

Right?  I think that the question is less “why was my ex roommate such an inconsiderate dick?” and more “Why was I such a spineless little twerp?” 

Dear Nick:

I feel like we reached that two years ago. 

Anyone but Trump 2020.

Yeah, but he scored a touchdown yesterday, so it’t all cool, right.  Right?

Not the Antonio Brown come back story I expected.

If you’ve gone to a game at Wrigley in the last 40 years, you certainly know about Ronnie Woo Woo. He’s definitely a “we” guy. In his later years he also turned into a “hey can you loan me 5 bucks” guy.

So what you’re saying is that he actually did die and went to purgatory.

On behalf of the 2019 Miami Dolphins, WE should probably all kill ourselves.

This. I’m shocked I had to go so far down the comments to find someone mentioning this. WTabsoluteF?

Someone brought a casket to the tailgate? WTF?!

General admission is the absolute fucking worst for any in demand event. The fucking worse. It just leads to lining up a million hours before the thing starts, people trying to find ways to jump the line, people arguing about line jumping, and people fighting about whether saving spots in line is ok.

Why don’t you guys just fuck already?

Regarding Pete’s question:

Who fucking cares. Let them have fun, as long as they aren’t ripping the ball out of a kid’s hand or some shit. It doesn’t impact you.