I’ll have you know that Al Bundy scored 4 touchdowns in a single game while playing for Polk High in 1966. It was the greatest event in Chicago history until Kanye released that one album.

They stole my design. I drew that exact car on the inside of my Trapper Keeper in middle school.

counter counterpoint: just rewatched it last week.

“You never understand how little time you have as a new dad until you are wrist deep in poop. You will think you have time to work on an old car, then your kid with start throwing up. This is just how it works”

You are a new dad. You won’t be cool for the next 10-15 years. Your life will revolve around the new baby then school/after school stuff. You will have drool stains on you/the car. You new cologne is eau de barf/formula. Cheerios and Goldfish will haunt the interior of whatever you buy. French fries and nuggets will…

If you skip out on the yachts, harems and cocaine, the GT3 RS is a lot more affordable of an option.

From what I understand, he wasn’t going to throw away his shot.

I dig it. You could also market it as the official car of the rhythm method.

“It had crew quarters, making it almost like an RV, a very advanced RV."

With a great show, yes, it’s possible. But how many times have you done a marathon binge where you suddenly realise in the middle that you haven’t taken in anything from the last 20 minutes?

Apatow once responded memorably to this criticism by complaining that audiences think nothing of an extended Netflix binge, but somehow chafe when asked to sit for 15 or 20 minutes longer than expected for a feature film.

The people at Pixar Cry Laboratory really threw a lot of R&D into this.

Potato Head being able to transfer his powers of ambulation to any object that will allow him to insert his plastic limbs. That was the start of what could have been some incredible body horror set pieces, and Pixar chose not to do it like cowards.

Not to take away from any of that, but I watched Nazis get their faces melted off, have their heads exploded, and get their eyes burned out by ghosts at age 8. The movie I saw that happen in is now my favorite of all time. Those kids will most likely be fine.

Maybe, but once I had a couple of 2- to- 4-year-olds myself, I got it completely, and they nailed it.  Little kids destroy the absolute living shit out of their toys, even the ones they have and love at home.

Goddamn, I teared up just READING this. “Daddy, what’s wrong with your eyes?” My then four year old daughter asked me when we watched this together the first time. Now I have to leave the room whenever they watch it, which is rarely because both of my kids can’t take that scene either. Add to that that my daughter is…

“The closer you are to somebody who is spewing droplets, the larger those droplets are likely to be, which is why masks may give you a little bit of protection if you are taking care of a loved one who is sick.”

To further that great analogy very slightly, air bags are actually “Supplemental Restraint Systems” - you may have seen the acronym SRS on your dashboard, etc...

The pants-wetting analogy is gold. Here’s another:

Six hams, six cheeses, six live chickens, and roughly $12 sounds like great plans for Memorial Day weekend