Tom sends Jean-Ralphio the Zoom link, Jean-Ralphio proceeds to tell everyone he’s taken up DJing and dominates the audio with his newest jam, Tom: “I don’t know guys, this is a pretty killer track, maybe we should Kickstart his SWEET NEW ALBUM!?!?” The rest of the crew agrees to end the call and move to the second…

Um excuse me but your facts are killing the vibe man

Bad plan.

Put enough capsaicin into it and it will keep hands away from the face, no alcohol required. At least not a second time.

For better or worse, the WHO simply believes that travel advisories are ineffective. As far as who imposes them, they have remained agnostic in not supporting them.

But these people are still going to want to vacation. But now they are going to vacation where I vacation. Boooo. Put them back on their boats. 

My dad had me convinced when I was about 5 that there was such a thing as a gefilte fish, and that ahead of passover my grandmother was keeping a school of them in the bathtub, so she could make the gefilte fish as fresh as possible.

So I presume those impacted by this should eventually expect to receive a government mandated free subscription to Zoom, or if you’re already signed up, a $3 voucher.

Alternative headline:

As a company that has thrived while earning negative profits for years, I think they’re better prepared for this than most.

Thank you.

...I have nothing bad to say about Calculator.

I once heard Trump fairly accurately described as a poor man’s caricature of a rich man, and I think that Musk could be fairly described as a dumb man’s caricature of a smart man.

In Western Australia, gun shops have been shut down by the Premier and they are PISSED. The local NRA wanna-bes took out a full-page ad in the only state-wide daily newspaper bitching about it. The Premier’s response?

“This isn’t America”.

You’re bummin’ me out.

And yet the mayor in Jaws is still the mayor in Jaws 2.

Boom, roasted.

If you don't like The Office, I think you should take your comments, turn around, and SHOVE THEM UP YOUR BUTT

This is indisputable.

A single square kilometer filled with locusts can consume as much as 35,000 people in one day