Everyone please be kind to Grandfather Baskets, who is a gentle lunatic we cannot wrangle off the court safely so we decided, well, best just leave him there. We’re changing our offense from the kinetic, motion oriented offense to which you are all accustomed to something we’re initially going to call Shamble and…

“Worst quarterback in the NFL,” [Michael] says.

Family Circus and Marmaduke are two of the worst things in human history, non-murder/war division.

Tre Mason: Man, fuck you guys. Not only am I not holding out, I was actually the first person to show up in St. Louis for training camp this year.

Kitchen sink: [falls off, shatters]

I didn’t know about Beijing but as for the other two, I think you could classify those incidents as terrorism directly targeting the Olympics. In Rio it just seems that the Olympics were so poorly prepared that people will die

Myocardio infarction? Trump is not a healthy man, nor healthy size (“stealth obesity”), nor healthy eater.

And humans are proactively making them worse: “the report cites global warming and global overfishing (which removes jellyfish predators) as causes for exploding jellyfish populations in recent years.” http://www.cnn.com/2013/11/04/tra…

Jellyfish do not have brains, so they are not able to feel guilt over the fact that Jesus died for their sins. They are godless abominations and I would shoot them in the face if they had one.

Oh great, jellyfish have learned how to post internet comments.

This is the least fun thing anyone has ever said.

“Robin is the one who has to fight for us”

Prince Fielder: “I wouldn’t say I’m MISSING it, Bob.”

I am tired of this negativity. Deadspin always sees the glass as 19/31 empty. I choose to see it as 12/31 full.

The Browns have to deal with a moron Haslam owner who theyd kill to be rid of. The Titans live in a state that voluntarily elected a Haslam governor. These people deserve to lose every super bowl on the one yard line

Whew. I feel much better knowing Harden won’t have to defend anything here.

“If you throw that fastball as straight as an arrow and lay it right over the middle of the plate, your liable to watch it fly all the way out of the ballpark.”

Poor little hobbit hasn’t had any steady work since Wilfred ended. It’s hard to see him like this.

I’d be much more irritated if Luke Russert hadn’t spent 8 years at NBC; if this year’s favorite to be the 45th President weren’t the spouse of the 42nd President; if the 43rd President weren’t the son of the 41st President.