A perfectly cromulent point, in my opinion.

That’s actually Jesse Plemons doing a promo for his new spinoff series, “Breaking Dab”

Rand Paul lost because his target constituency was holed up in an Oregon wildlife refuge for most of his candidacy and was unable to participate in polls or primaries.

Because LeBron James had not yet made his intentions on returning to Cleveland known until after they hired Blatt. Griffin hired Blatt to coach a completely different team than the one he got.

Hold on, we’re supposed to be putting rum in our root beer floats? I’m a little depressed that I’ve been doing it wrong for almost four decades, but at least the next four (God willing) will be a lot better.

I feel like the Oscars are akin to the Kardashians — if we ignore them, they’ll go away.

Totally remember that. However, the spring mechanism that sent the pieces flying like grenade shrapnel when the game was new gradually lost its juice over time, meaning that after a while, the game would simply shudder suggestively to remind you that time was up, after which you could leisurely finish putting all the…

I’m not sure what stats you’re looking at, but Jefferson absolutely does not have the same offensive output as Boogie, and he’s five years older. You can have him.

If Donald Trump wins the election, I’m still not moving to Canada.

Craggs’s contrarian stand against the anti-PED morality police in sports media completely changed the way I perceive that issue. And the stunt he pulled infiltrating ESPN was epic.

You left out some very important tips, especially when moving from New Jersey to California:

You know this guy is a great heel if I’d be rooting for Mayweather in this hypothetical fight.

+uni

I hear Gawker media also takes a pretty hard “yes” line on the existence of the atom.

Can we please get a post about how Austin Rivers is trolling the absolute shit out of you guys right now

Or madam, apologies for the presumption.

The Coke Zero sitting on my desk via laugh-snort through my nose is dedicated to you, sir.

The last couple seasons have been really great. But the only thing that’s going to get me to get over Sid Fucking Bream is a World Series trophy.

Fucking Starbucks, the place that launched America's love affair with overpriced burnt coffee, is a good value by comparison.

For the life of me, I can’t remember who laid down that bunt.