Growing up, he probably had years of coaching from a master on the subject, a Maestro if you will.

After years and years of the wonderful, blessed “Get a brain, morans” meme, we actually have a Brian Moran?!??

I’m gonna get exposed to a flyover tonight and be asked to stand for the National Anthem even though I’m just there to watch a football game.

9 people from Toronto and no hits... what is this, Broken Social Scene?

Ronaldo looks like me at Thanksgiving when my Uncle is doing a racist

Restaurant work is where I first heard and learned the expression ‘Time to lean, time to clean.’ Inevitably, it would end up that you had three or four staff members polishing silverware or folding napkins together, and you’d start to chatter and it would often veer negative. Now, the thing was, I was a young buck,…

That’s the thing about restaurant work, during the dead time when you’re waiting for the rush or waiting for patrons to leave at the end of the shift so you can flip the restaurant and go home, you get to stand around with your crew and bitch and moan. Or, you go out to the pub/nightclub after work, and bitch and moan…

I know exactly how Andrew Luck feels. I mean, I don’t have a degree from Stanford or a bunch of athletic ability or millions of dollars or a super-high IQ. But I have been booed by people in Indianapolis. And my boss does a lot of drugs.

Thomas Pynchon looked at that name and said “eh, too far.”

Disqualified from international hockey.

That kid's name? Lance Armstrong.

The only thing that matters with this situation is if it somehow fucks up the Leafs. Overpay him and get stuck in salary cap hell? Great! Don’t pay him and watch him walk or play in Europe? Awesome! Even better if he’s a great player for the Isles!

Not that any of this matters but didn’t the original Dream Team lose to a team comprised of college players originally?  I mean, I still imagine it’s because Jordan had money on the NCAA team, but who knows?!

Well I stand corrected. Joey Chestnut must really be an athlete, as he claims.

Yep, you’re a 34 year old male.

Imagine being too homophobic for Utah.

I need someone to explain to me why Equinox—a gym with, in the grand scheme of things, very few locations—is suddenly the center of a controversy about its owners being Trump supporters. Scratch just about any American corporation and you’ll find equally, if not more, odorous people than Stephen Ross. Is it just…

If I never subscribe to the Athletic its simply (...)