At least if he were beheaded during the parade, everyone there would....witness.

Now, this kind of reaction to mushrooms would make the next Mario game way more interesting...

He even followed Wilt's lead in Hollywood, co-starring in Conan: The Hand Talker...

...they shocked the world? Is anyone shocked they won the title? Weren't they a favorite? I'm all for underdogs using this line and all, but when you're the odds-on favorite to start the year...yeah, not so much.

You miss the part where you crap the crap out of your crappy pants...pretty sure that should be in there somewhere.

This is just how Pippen signs autographs these days...took instruction from Rodman.

He was actually trying to punch the camera man, but his poor depth perception made it impossible...

Wait til she finds out he drives a Kia...she'll be gone in no time.

ETA for the requisite interview with Oprah Winfrey...she does speak for all of "those people", right?

She has several restaurants in the south....I doubt business takes a hit.

All these zombie Padres, and not one Ken Caminiti sighting?

Getting another ring probably would have helped console the fact that he's losing one he already had...

Football player's White SUV being followed by helicopters following a murder?

Wait, wait, wait.....there's a "W"NBA?

I can't believe that NBC ever bought that website in the first place. Gives a false sense of validity to a guy who has never been an actual reporter. The biggest news story he's ever broken was when he said Terry Bradshaw was dead...which turned out to be embarrassingly wrong.

Roy Jones Jr....with a dude's arm around his shoulder.

The stuff that happened at bars, I don't think should be part of the convention creepiness...that can just happen at bars. You could be at one in LA, or you could be at one in North Dakota...odds are there will be some drunk people there trying to score. Drunk people tend to do and say stupid things...news at 11.

Have they checked their jacket pockets? I sometimes think I lose money, but then find it later in my jacket pockets...they should look there. In their jacket pockets...

He's just trying to show everyone he can still play...remember, he led the league in steals three times.

Nick Saban doesn't even get in the honorable mentions? Really? You've got Petrino, but no Saban, who also tucked tail and ran back to college when he figured out that pro athletes weren't the same as those in college.