This bracket should be canceled. :(

Six pages. Six fucking pages. Like a break-up letter you wrote on notebook paper to your high school boyfriend. Jeebus H. Khrist.

Shelter Cat Update!

Vapes can help ween people off cigarettes and have utility for weed smokers! Influencers gotta go

I feel like a vote against influencers is also a vote against vapes.

Never thought I’d vote against vapes, but influencers are undeniably worse.

I’m not putting a lot of thought into voting, so that seems fair.

AND THAT BEAT JOE BIDEN?? YOU PEOPLE REALIZE THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE HE WILL BECOME THE NOMINEE, RIGHT??? GRANDPA HAIR SNIFFER????

I will explain the Nazi dog to you, because I DID look it up. I have to warn you though, it will fill you with rage that this is even a thing.

This rant sounds like me getting really angry while watching Paw Patrol with my 3 year old. Seriously, how is the Paw Patrol funded? I mean, I can look past the talking dogs, but what I can’t look past is the massive cost of having a team of specially trained rescue dogs on call 24 hours a day. The Paw Patrol has some…

Have you considered that maybe this very important historical trilogy doesn’t take place on planet Earth? Or maybe it is a mirror world. We don’t know. Maybe they will explain that in next year’s movie when they burst through the veil and stumble upon Earth and are very confused about our map.

Y’all are really voting to cancel a dog over Bill DeBlasio and Joe Biden? Dogs can’t help if they’re owned by soulless bog mummies.

It’s not particularly confusing. It’s easier on the environment than a lot of nut milks. Some people are allergic to nuts. Some people like the taste. Also, as you noted, it’s cheap. You can make it at home.
It is fine.

helter Cat Update!

I disagree about mention of Wainwright—I don’t think she needed to be mentioned here any more than she was. I am firmly in the camp of the married party being the one who bears the brunt of the responsibility, and the issue at hand is how he acted. The biggest thing to me is that he’s co-opted his “good husband,…

Beware the forthcoming 100% tariff on Maple syrup.

This is gonna be the most cathartic bracket ever. Immediately after voting I was filled with a feeling of peace and weightlessness, albeit temporarily. I guess imagining a world without YouTubers really was that therapeutic!

Willie’s wife has an incredible line of edibles. His vape line is amazing too. Willie still gets high as fuck, I promise.

...And a chill runs up Snoop Dogg’s spine.