My mom’s office had a UPS driver who was a sarcastic pain in the ass. One day she couldn’t find a seat at a popular fried chicken restaurant during a busy lunch hour. The UPS driver was there and offered to let her sit at his table with him, promising not to talk to her. Luckily they did talk, and they’ve been married…

Here’s the clip of Murphy Brown vs Dan Quayle. Enjoy.

I did 100%

Except those three weeks in May when he was grounded for god knows what reason*.

I thought this was a Jez joke article at first

Where is the other side of the calendar? Show me dem birds!

I call total bullshit on this. Who in their right mind keeps a disposable wall calendar from THIRTY-SIX YEARS AGO?!

Is there such a thing as bangable Republican? It’s like edible footwear, those two things don’t go together. Or composting nukes. I’m just spitballing here. 

PUFFY STICKERS OR GTFO.

Seriously, I might actually buy this: https://www.amazon.com/BeYumi-Different-Stickers-Scrapbooking-Including/dp/B071LGPLPW/ref=pd_lpo_vtph_bs_img_1/137-3259915-5690913?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=T6EBXF4BV5W9BARGJGHH.

And then roll around in them on the floor while my husband quietly and gently…

Pete Gosar, Wyoming Democratic Party chairman is one of the brothers!

Actually, I think she is showing empathy for the working class when she tells these guys that they might learn something working a service job. I think she’s implying there’s no shame in sweeping the floor at a restaurant. If men can’t treat others with respect, they don’t deserve all the perks that come with a…

I don’t think she’s shitting on them.  She’s just pointing out there are options other than “continue receiving five figures for a single night of standup work” and “homeless.”  People (read:men) act like if these guys aren’t immediately restored to their former glory, their poor wife and kids (who no one seems to…

In my youth, I pitched hay bales and shoveled shit and detassled corn fields. It’s honest work, and nothing to be ashamed of, but it wouldn’t hurt my feelings any to watch these shitheels spend a couple of years at it.

Feckless....

I, for one, love these shirts in the same way I love Confederate flag and MAGA merch. It tells you right away that the person is an asshole and should be avoided at all costs, as demonstrated by Jared Leto above. 

This is profound and edgy social commentary and you just don’t get it!

wait, what - balding tuppence-store Cumberbatch up there is the groom? I know they say women marry their fathers, but that’s supposed to be metaphorical.

OMFG. Ten bucks says he’s now going to use that effing Presidential Alert thing to send us all dick picks to show us how big and presidential it is. 

“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart...