Look for the Jezebel commenters’ delegation: they will be marching in a phalanx, wearing purple sashes with “Jezebel” written on them. I sewed the sashes!

When going higher physically pains you

Of course it’s Tiffany’s box.

He’s utterly repulsive from the front, but his profile is pure space slug. He’s just a gross, nasty old toad.

I think it’s lovely. Too bad it’s just enclosing empty space.

Wait, am I the only one who loved Melania’s outfit?

Par-rump-a-pum-pum?

i think that melania does herself no favors standing next to FLOTUS. the genuine warmth next to the steely coldness of excess botox and lack of a soul is very jarring.

Fuck that paparazzi asshole.

Two years ago I adopted a teacup (“guaranteed” to stay under 40 pounds!) pig from a family that had bought her to live in their apartment in Harrisburg, PA.

Exactly. If you want a food obsessed animal that waddles around- just buy a basset hound.

Because of this?

It’s never a bad time.

oh, good god. I saw a car at the supermarket the other day with an enormous bumper sticker that simply said: FLUORIDE, and I wanted so badly to get out a permanent marker and write on it, “is good for your teeth!”

I don’t know who decided to scare Emma Watson away from meth use, but there had to be a less disturbing way.

I would just like to state that at one point in my 20s, I quit my day job to be a dancing spoon in a tour of Beauty & the Beast.

Aww, Lautner seems like a good kid, though! (But I get it, I really do.)