"Your role will be reduced next season, in favor of... uh... fuck, Damaris Johnson? I guess?"

fuck, caught

Why not send him off to rehab (like, an actual rehab to help him with his problem, not "I'm a celebrity and I fucked up" rehab), let him be paid, maybe give him some kind of fine, but let him back when he's able to come back?

Leave PFTCommenter's work to him.

As a diagnostic, right? And that's pretty far afield from what Owen's saying, since I'm pretty sure Josh Hamilton ain't got no Horner's.

Please tell me about this safe way to use cocaine.

No level of success on the football field would make this acceptable, of course, but it's somehow even sadder to me that these (alleged) terrible actions center around a football team that's an also ran in the Mountain West and hasn't had a winning season since 2007.

"Get the hell out" is great advice whenever you're in Idaho.

"PAP BOMB"

Fuck, I'm laughing so hard I have the hiccups now.

Is DeMarcus going to fit in with a George Karl team though?

I love that last paragraph in particular. Good damn job.

"Oh, you pull scholarships out early? How quaint." - R. Pitino

Petrino: "Hey fucker, can I screw your mom?"

Motekiai gonna give it to ya

Pictured above: coach Jim Boehim showing off his favorite way of fucking over his players - two in the pink, three in the ear of NBA scouts while he whispers negative things about his own players.

Plus they're a hockey team, not an airline. What the fuck

Then why would Company Man Chael Sonnen get dinged twice?

bye cowherd

o hai joe buck