...I was here long before Mark had even heard of "rosebud".

You're not from around here, are you?

oh.my.god

Excuse you but a prolapsed anus is LOVE.

What a waste of money. 30 grand could have put a couple of those sex dolls through college.

I feel like stories like that tend to end up with the woman being taken hostage, then quartered as the dude tries to build a perfect doll from woman parts... but I'm glad this time, it ended in true love.

This practice has not once occurred to me before reading this article, so I went through a little sequence of emotions in three seconds : 1) ew. 2) wait a second, no intestines are getting turned out, no feces are present, no people are getting hurt, and two people are made happy. 3) why did I say ew? this is awesome.

Was the guinea pig still alive, Mark? Or just sort of a fuzzy rodent pelt g-string thingy?

"or that she and Rihanna emerged from the same Def Jam R&B-pop machine in 2005."

Well, OF COURSE, Liberace.

Hi, Jew here checking in. I'd be wholeheartedly very happy if people would stop taking this bullshit approach of relating something they think is bad to the Holocaust. Fuck this noise, fuck Jill Duggar, fuck it all.

This is actually a common comparison among ultra-conservative fundamentalist Christians, sadly. I've seen it pop up on Facebook and have had great fun tearing it to shreds.

Hipster Level: you've probably never heard of this level.

Well... the third one about beer yes. Most doctors recommend beer (particularly Guiness) to help with the production of milk for breastfeeding.

So... My friend's mom swears that if you aren't producing milk that if you drink a Guiness (sp) then it will come.

Apparently, drinking and smoking while pregnant are healthy.

BUT NOW AN ENTIRE GENERATION OF YOUTHS WILL KNOW HIM AS THE GUY FROM THE LIGHT BULB COMMERCIAL YES I AM YELLING

I believe the adjective you were looking for is "foine".

Oh, Jeff Goldblum