I’m hoping that after getting the T off the sign he took a coffee break so the sign just said RUMP for an extended period of time

I’m ready. Let’s go!

When any of my employees sneeze, I yell “DISGUSTING” at them after everyone else in the room has said “bless you.”

Everything I’ve read suggests that the truth campaign has had a significant impact on youth smoking, which is down to about 6% these days (they’re not responsible for all of that, of course).

THERE IS NO DANA ONLY JUUL

“I always wonder, do folks like these believe their own bullshit for even a moment in their heart of hearts?”

Wait til you hear about our skincare routines

One of the best days in my life was the day I stopped smoking, Then, within 2 weeks, I had to somehow come to terms with the fact that EVERYTHING around me REEKED: clothes, furniture, curtains. ALL of my scholarly work on paper. My nose was working again.

Even if you don’t have napkins, you gotta have a napkin holder, preferably with a farm animal on it.

Ahahahahaaaha!!!

Asking for a friend who is a single guy with no roommates, little visitation, and tall hair:
Is there a difference between tissues and toilet paper; or rather a need to purchase tissues in addition to TP? I [ahem] He always found tissues to be unnecessary and expensive in contrast, especially on the rare once-a-year…

If a guest comes over, sneezes

Replace the disinfecting wipes with baby wipes and you’ve got my vote.

I submit the disinfecting wipe for inclusion as a must-have paper product* for the home. These things are so amazingly versatile, I don’t know how I ever lived without them.

Our daughter was caught with one. At school. She’s 15. A thirsty 18 year old guy bought it for her trying to get on her good side (didn’t work). We were furious. She says most of her friends have them. My wife, a cigarette smoker of 20 years, confiscated it immediately. About a month later, she tried using it. She…

I got a Juul for Christmas (I’m about double the age of a high school senior), and I’m already looking at getting back on Wellbutrin to curb it. It’s an incredibly easy, potent, elegant system, but I find myself having fallen back into nicotine dependency as a result of it.

Pro Tip: If your teenage son smells like anything other than old gym clothes or Axe, bust him.

My grandfather passed a few weeks ago so went out of town for the service and ended up driving around my 14 year old cousin. She’s one of those HS freshman who act like they’re 22. Anyway, she pulls out a Juul and hands it to me. Because I’m an old, I thought it was a fun vape and took a big old pull. First…

I am sad to admit that my child was doing this behind our back for 3 weeks. He was getting in trouble in school, showing off and hanging out with other kids that he wanted to “fit in” with. After catching an Instagram post he thought we wouldn’t see (he’s not supposed to have social media), I took his account over and…