I was just about to give up and just admit that i’m a fat pasty, splotchy faced 43 year old bag and that that’s the beautiful cycle of life, and then shit like this comes along, or Jennifer “I’m Older Than You” Aniston shows up and I feel all the worse.

Why did that read like an intro to a John Waters screenplay or a Philip K. Dick novel?

Cocktail waitress marries LA shyster attorney, trades geriatric blow jobs for bankrolled videos and career in the gay club circuit, shallow twinks shimmy and shake to crafty, subversive lyrics, more shameless, delicious art from impresario Uncle Andy Cohen.

What fresh hell is a Backless Hoodie?

Yes, and good luck finding a seat in the shade.

Gender conflating skanks?

Mills was accused of approaching a sister of slain Sandy Hook Elementary School teacher Victoria Soto during a charity race in November and angrily claiming the shootings never took place.

Basically it was 1000 degrees, my “friends” convinced me to smoke a bunch of weed-i ate a big turkey leg, threw up in the HOT port-a-potty, went to deadmau5 was slammed around, wandered away cause STRESS/DON’T TOUCH ME, finally met up with my friends and slept for 12 hours.

I feel like if you’re at the point in life where you file income tax you should not be at Coachella. Let’s all use that as a barometer on whether you should attend or not in the future.

This Coachella thing has really run its course. I think its time for the cool kids to find something new to be into.... like easy listening music for a change. Nothing would piss off Gen-X and the Boomers than if Gen Z and the young millennials starting listening to the modern equivalent of Percy Faith, Henry Mancini,…

I’d bet you’re probably doing your taxes wrong, too.

Hahaha omg the late 90s, early aughts was SO SO BAD for fashion.

Sometime long after there was any way my body would look good in them. Not that I think they are all that flattering, even to the most attractive among us, but they aren’t really any worse than the wide-legged jeans and crop tops I may or may not have worn at some point in the 90s. Those shorts do look more…

I’m so stuck in the early/mid 2000s mindset that festivals were basically for people who 1. loved music, sincerely, often jam band or bluegrass 2. Liked camping and knew how to do it 3. wore pretty but ultimately practical and comfortable clothes you didn’t mind sitting on grass or even dirt, and if they got muddy it…

If you’re trying to mail your tax return from a festival, you’re doing fucking festivaling wrong.

It’s like they *literally* think:
COACHELLA = NARNIA

just tattoo it

Both in and outside the body.

That’s a good point.

Probably too late to ask but...