I yam peased to see you here.

I always scroll down to the comments, because you never know what kind of corniness will turnip.

If you have any vegetable jokes, lettuce know.

COTD? COTD.

Kinja Hall of Fame right here folks.

It’s OK. I understand. I don’t want it either.

Fancy Kristen,

So, there’s this guy who walks in a bar, gets a beer, starts chatting with the bartender, tells him his mother-in-law is a nagging hag who is driving him and his wife nuts, and at some point the bartender interjects:

Judging by the actions and looks of her mother, I’d say a recent sorority grad.

First you complain that I don’t have a good relationship with you mother. Then you complain that I do. What the hell do you want from me?

They just released her mugshot

Leave it to Florida Man to be an actual mother fucker.

You’ve got to be careful how you use them:

That 300 inline-six in your old 1970s Ford F100 is definitely a Moh-tar.

But the 2.5-liter inline-five in your VW Jetta is squarely an engine.

That 5.9-liter Cummins in your second-gen Ram: Definitely a Moh-tar.

But the 2.2-liter EcoTec in your Saturn Vue is an engine.

That…

Some might say the successor will be a Jagwire. 

This. Podcasts are life.

Because people just GOTTA have those annoying overplayed pop ‘songs’, commercials for Al’s Bargain Basement Mattress Emporium every 7 minutes, and countless droning morning DJs and propaganda spewing talk radio hosts.

Dunno, looked like they were carrying a Lada speed through some of those corners...

“Here Yugo Again”
“Yumping Yugos”
“Yugo Girl”
“Yugo Boss”
“Wherever Yugo, There You Are”

I’m liking this.

I don’t know, this person was willing to terrorize a group of people that could have very easily killed someone. Do we wait for this guy to finally succeed at something in life?

Green has an “extensive criminal record,” which includes, “felony assault convictions, possession of a gun by a prohibited person and fleeing the state as a fugitive.”