That was a little before my time, old top. 

I’ve known crossovers were the future since 1986, when Run DMC teamed up with Aerosmith. 

Did they complete the course? I mean, did they make it across that line at the end of the track, the line that signifies you completed the race?

The last recession was a real suckfest all around. Layoffs, foreclosures, general despair everywhere you looked. But at least it taught me the value of saving for a rainy day.

I dunno, owning a fighter jet like that seems like it would be approaching an unsafe area of some sort. A zone of danger, if you will.

Good to know. And does Staten Island still have 2.8 above-ground pools per resident?

My daughter is going to NYC for culinary school next year, so I will get to make my first trip there since the late 80's. Has it changed much?

Dodge Charger!

I really want to make a joke like “Old Man’s Hummer Gives Young Man Whiplash” but I won’t. I refuse to do it. 

I doubt he orchestrated all the tire squeals 

$309/MPH is a pretty good deal. I paid about $380/MPH for my Ram. 

Does it come with the awful soundtrack from the chase scene? If so, I’ll pass. 

I did this once, and 18 months later, boom! Dead battery. Never again.

I’m just going to curl up in a ball in the corner for a while. 

Listen, in a recession there are sacrifices that must be made. If I have to forego my usual 5 glasses of some anonymous red blend of questionable origin to survive the financial apocalypse, so be it. At least I won’t die from a lack of carbs and sodium. 

the obnoxious equivalent of someone poking your stomach while you’re stretching

But if I just stick to the bathroom at Olive Garden, think of the savings. I’ll get all the salty toilet paper I need. 

Mmmm... green over tan. That’s automotive peanut butter and jelly right there. 

Just please don’t loot the OG. I want all those salty breadsticks to myself. And the salty soup, and the salty pasta, and the salty salad.

My plan to weather the next recession is that all-you-can-eat pasta card from Olive Garden.