Oh I wish I had seen this a few weeks ago. I went to Nordstrom to get some ideas for my beach wedding. After telling the woman that I rarely wear a lot of make-up and needed something casual, I came out looking like I was going to Bar Mitzvah in Short Hills. Apparently I have bad skin that needs to be covered up. They…

When I was a kid I was obsessed with Nancy Drew. I used to buy them at used bookstores and many were early editions before they updated the language. My two favorite lines were: “’What?’ Ned ejaculated” and something about Bess knocking up Nancy in the morning.

I have to share this because it was one of the few times when I had the perfect retort. So, I was in high school (a VERY long time ago). I was talking to my friend about getting into a certain college. Some guy comes by and says “You got in? They rejected me. What did you do - blow an admission officer?” Me: “Yeah and…

Can you recommend a mascara that looks great and won't run all over my face? I have this problem even with waterproof.

Oh good lord and I didn't think anything could make this hangover worse.

Yes! Yes! Yes! I read that book in an airport. It was so scary that someone actually walked up to me and asked if I was OK because I was visibly shaking. A great and often over-looked writer.

Hmmm, I once saw him at a bar in New Orleans and he was picking his nose. I'm sensing a very disturbing pattern.

I have a friend who occasionally appears as a talking head on news shows. She says that Fox's make-up people are way better than CNN's. Yes, she is a blonde.

I made a similar comment to some guy in the thread above who said the bigger the dog the smellier the fart. Silly person.

Oh my friend, you obviously have never lived with a Boston Terrier. Tiny but deadly.

There was really only one thing wrong with that movie.... The script.

My go-to comment before walking into a meeting with a bunch of bankers:
"You wil never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious."

"What is it?"

When Scott Hamilton is commenting, do a shot every time he says "wow". Guaranteed to be shit faced halfway through the short program.

I had a whole curriculum in mind... Duck-face selfies 101; advanced bearding.

Home Schooled? Is Kris teaching kemistry?

Doctor Donna!