Doesn’t count. Everyone who is an actual fan of the Olympics knows that Leonidas is the GOAT. He didn’t have all the fancy accommodations that Olympians have now, like shoes and anti-chaffing nipple tape. Do you know what they did back then if your chaffed nips got infected? They took’em.

I believe 164 BCE was also the last time a Buffalo sports team was in the playoffs.

more like Leonidas of ‘Roids.

No, but this is also a Summer Olympics being held in winter.

There’s a strong intersection between the type of dude who wants a brown turbo diesel manual wagon, and the type of dude who would fly 5000 miles on a whim to see a woman he’s only texted.

Man. Girls aren’t real. They’re just something made up to get people to buy cars.

There’s a level on which my favorite part of this is the official press release containing the sentence “We are not screwing around, Philly.”

Is this gonna turn into some goddamn logic puzzle? The staffer who ranked Andy Capp the highest was NOT the staffer that ranked Garfield above Peanuts. One staffer whose last name ends with “n” ranked Ziggy and Cathy the same....

Be honest, have you ever written a letter to a horse? Maybe to Barbaro, perhaps?

You’d think Green would wait to get to Rio to go viral.

What are the odds he takes a shortcut and becomes a policeman?

I remembered when I played baseball I had a pretty standard routine for each at bat. First, I’d stand outside the box, tap the sides with the tip of my toe. I’d step in, line the bat up with the back edge of the plate. Then I’d swing at three straight pitches, go back to the dugout and cry uncontrollably until we were…

“What an amazing tribute.” - Dan Snyder

HE DIDN’T FALL GOD DAMMIT WHY DID YOU EVEN POST THIS

Am I the only one watching with great anticipation of either of these things happening:

Why is this hoverboard equipped with a crotch-demolishing stem in the middle?

I think Tom Izzo is a slightly above average coach, and no amount of objective evidence will convince me otherwise.

How about a nice set of normal shorts without two extra pockets ? They do have them at fine stores near you.

Fun fact about the Deadspin staff: It is a colonial organism made up of many super super small things called morons.