Worked at the mall when that “Mambo Number 5" song was getting a lot of air play. Those were some dark fucking days, man.

Disclaimer: I do not own a penis, so I say this with (what I believe to be) a fairly objective viewpoint. Although you may, of course, feel free to discount my advice.

Oh, YOU!

Perhaps not this time, but Westbrook is petty. I’d be disappointed if he wasn’t.

Came here expecting to read some NBA slash fiction because those are obvs O faces. Left disappointed.

Don’t dress like that if you don’t want dudes to wink at you Kev.

The vagina is nature’s purse. But all of these things are better off in a lovely Michael Kors bag.

Right?!?

/distributing winter coats

Not the Cavs winning the championship?

Rejoice? Nah, this doesn’t make me feel happy for the Browns. Just sorry for the Chargers.

As a Browns fan I cannot upvote this any harder.

I-O

It is really not difficult to piss off defenders is it?

I hate to see a talented kid like that destroyed. If the Browns are determined to be swallowed into the Hellmouth we should bring back Johnny Football so he can go too.

The 49'ers haven’t done a damn thing to me but this feels right. Cosign.

“There is no chance he will be elected, right? Right?.........Please?”

I know it’s wrong of me to wish that one of these legislators gets shot in the face by a kindergartner but... damn it Ohio...you are making it really difficult for me to like you.

Stop saying things! Our perfect season will NOT be ruined today.

I do appreciate him bringing the crazy back to Big Ten Football.